open.

[oraculum]

Comments

[touchwood]

ok well come out tonight and we'll hang
you didn't have to do it the first time you know
but don't worry i'll let everyone there know not to ask you to do porn

[oraculum]

not before i tell everyone that ur pimping out young and impressionable nubile boys like myself can u believe i was a virgin before u ruined my life
anyway last time i did it for u but like i'm not planning on a career in sucking dick esp when onlyfans exists
do u think ppl would pay to see me naked

[touchwood]

wait that's a joke right
was that your first time doing anal
no can't be
you're a slut
right

[oraculum]

why does being a slut automatically mean i've done anal
not seeing how those 2 things correlate

[touchwood]

dude can you please just tell me that was not your first anal experience

[oraculum]

lol bruh would u chill
i don't see how it matters either way

[touchwood]

what the fuck
dude you were a virgin for real before this??
why the fuck would you do that?????

[oraculum]

dude not technically
my ex used to finger me all the time when she sucked me off bc it made her hot af
it's not a big deal

[touchwood]

that's not the same
i can't fucking believe this shit
i was kidding when i told them you were a virgin

[oraculum]

as far as first times go it was ok tho the dude had a fat cock and i was sore for a few days after
not his fault he was blessed by god

[ how little he actually cares about this, ashe, pls. ]

why are u stressing abt it
it's done lol
i can't unfuck myself

[touchwood]

i never would've asked in the first place if i knew
that's not cool
why the fuck didn't you say something

[oraculum]

bc as u have already deduced i am a slut
it was an easy way to help u out without actually putting forth a significant amount of effort

[touchwood]

i don't want or need your fucking help
i told you this already
everyone's first anal experience is shitty but it's not supposed to go like that

[oraculum]

ur the only one assuming it was shitty
he gave me a handy and made me cum

[touchwood]

somehow that makes it worse

[oraculum]

would it make u feel it feel better if i told i was lying and he didn't give me a reacharound
it was far from the worst sex i've ever had dude i'm not traumatized

1/2

[touchwood]

fuck you

2/2

[touchwood]

just don't do any more favors for me
i don't fucking like it
can we just hang like shit is normal

[oraculum]

u specifically ASKED me for this favor u salty bitch

[ no wonder he never had any friends in school. ]

shit is normal
ur the one making it weird

[touchwood]

then i took it back you fucking dipshit
you don't fucking listen just like everyone else
god you piss me off so much
is this like a fucking game you play or what

[oraculum]

pissing u off? lol no that's just incidental
u get so aggro all the time idk what makes u mad and what doesn't
i wanted to help u bc i like u

[touchwood]

ok well don't do it again
don't try to help me with shit
i can take care of myself
don't say that gay shit either
we're cool

[oraculum]

[ whiplashing motherfucker this exactly what he means ]

i like u in a completely platonic and hetero way then
it just comes w the slightly gay addition of sometimes wanting to suck ur dick
u don't have to do everything by yourself all the time

[touchwood]

we can fuck around that's cool
i just don't have time for like heavy shit
and no offense but literally no one has ever come through for me ever so i prefer doing my own shit my own way
except you i guess
even though i'm still pissed about what you did that was the only time anyone's ever done anything like that for me

[oraculum]

for real?
damn lol everyone needs at least 1 person as like a fall back guy when shit gets rough
did u not have a bff in hs? middle school? anytime?