just because my mom's a fuck-up and can barely stand to look at me doesn't mean i'm just gonna leave her for good i know i don't have to deal with her but then who the fuck is you make it sound like this shit is simple when it's not
then whats ur moms deal has she always been like that
only bc [ i didn't notice you feels extraordinarily assholeish. ] i had a fuckton of ppl around me all the time at least we're hanging now even if ur kinda reluctant abt it
[ he remembers, similar to how he remembers the scent of his shampoo freshman year in chemistry. apple blossom and honey, almost overpowering. that same weekend he skimmed the shelves of at least two different stores searching for a similar smelling shampoo but walked away tragically empty-handed. ]
u were wearing glasses that day
[ their hands touched. ashe jerked away first, and delta turned on his heel to head to his next class, enveloped under the outstretched arm of one of his friends. he hadn't looked backed, though he remembers wishing he did. ]
[ it surprises him that delta remembers because he was expecting some bullshit stammering that ultimately meant no. he was also surprised back then that delta stopped to help at all, and he never even said thank you for it. ]
yeah i ripped my last pair of contacts that morning by accident because i was rushing i was late for school because my mom passed out in the bathroom with the fucking door locked and it took me like half an hour to get it open
i hate to break it to you but undoing a bra strap with one hand is not even that impressive
[ what the fuck. he wants to say something cutting about the fact that delta remembers the smell of his shampoo, but the revelation is too unexpected. that anyone remembers such a small detail about him makes something tighten in his chest. ]
i don't really remember what it was i bought something my mom liked but i changed it when she started coming home less and less how do you even know that
[ maybe he shouldn't have said that. it's too unguarded, too thoughtlessly honest. the fact that he still remembers the smell of his shampoo to this day is honestly bizarre when they exchanged five words max in the entire four years they attended the same school. ]
im sensitive to scents ig it was a pretty strong one so it stuck w me i think eventually i narrowed it down to like apples and honey but im sure it had other notes in there
i didn't really know back then that you were into dudes too
[ he's glad he said it. it makes him feel less invisible. ]
it was like some candied apple shit leftover from fall my mom bought like ten bottles sorry i didn't smell you properly but your whole group was just a cloud of axe
felt weird coming out as bi when no one rly asked so i never said anything i was always dating someone anyway
i resent that bc i def did not use axe but i agree that it was nauseating it rubbed off on me anyway bc id go home smelling like i stepped into a hollister think thats why i remember ur shampoo so well
i don't really know what i'm doing she just shows up with all this fucking cocaine and acts like that shit is normal she barely even talks to me
if i knew i might have actually talked to you
well that was the acceptable standard of smells not apples and honey anyway you must have smelled decent since you were always up in someone's pussy and/or dick
a travesty honestly we couldve made out under the bleachers like the hormonal teenagers we were even if u wouldve balked at the idea of it back then
[ not even mentioning that he thought of his lips at least once in those four years. ]
idk that i couldve been comfortably out in hs anyway ppl would see me w guys sometimes like at parties and shit when i got absolutely trashed but no one ever talked abt it some hs version of dont ask why our centerman is shoving his tongue down that dude's throat and he won't tell so i never told
dude what the fuck i'm pretty sure my mom doesn't even know who my dad is there was never a dad there was just a rotation of shitty guys
i wasn't in your crowd so that would've been weird for me at least i probably would've offended at least 47% of your friends by existing too close to them you just get a free pass for everything don't you never had anyone put dog shit in the shape of a dick in your locker huh not that i would've wanted you to be bullied for sticking your tongue down some dude's throat but i'm just saying
sry my b i dont know ur life dude im still trying to figure u out
i never really thought of it as a free pass it just meant ppl were uncomfortable talking abt it for xyz reasons
[ but realistically it absolutely was a free pass because he had money, his uncle had numerous connections, and he had the most coveted spot on the hockey team. he never thought about how different his life was from ashe's back then but in retrospect it is glaringly obvious. ]
anyway thats enough reminiscing for one day when should i show up to ur gig early?
my one and only experience w an older dude was junior year i let some 20-sth financing graduate jerk me off in someone's bathroom it was ok why he was at a high school party i do not know lol
ill stop by after i pop home for a shower then been at the beach most of the day
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ bitch that is highkey psychotic ]
ive talked enough abt myself
tell me more abt u
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there are really shitty people in the world
this is my natural hair color
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but i dont worry abt ppl like that
why didnt u ever talk to me in school
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must be nice
you're such a fucking douchebag
shit like this is why
we didn't have shit in common
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why deal w ppl u dont have to
i still dont get why u havent moved out if u hate it here so much
i liked ur music. i think i would've liked u.
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i know i don't have to deal with her but then who the fuck is
you make it sound like this shit is simple when it's not
you didn't really talk to me either you know
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has she always been like that
only bc [ i didn't notice you feels extraordinarily assholeish. ] i had a fuckton of ppl around me all the time
at least we're hanging now
even if ur kinda reluctant abt it
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she's always had problems but we used to get along a little better but then some shit happened and now we don't really fuck with each other
do you remember the one time in the hallway you helped me picked up my shit after some asshole shoved me
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mmmmm maybe
[ he remembers, similar to how he remembers the scent of his shampoo freshman year in chemistry. apple blossom and honey, almost overpowering. that same weekend he skimmed the shelves of at least two different stores searching for a similar smelling shampoo but walked away tragically empty-handed. ]
u were wearing glasses that day
[ their hands touched. ashe jerked away first, and delta turned on his heel to head to his next class, enveloped under the outstretched arm of one of his friends. he hadn't looked backed, though he remembers wishing he did. ]
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[ it surprises him that delta remembers because he was expecting some bullshit stammering that ultimately meant no. he was also surprised back then that delta stopped to help at all, and he never even said thank you for it. ]
yeah
i ripped my last pair of contacts that morning by accident because i was rushing
i was late for school because my mom passed out in the bathroom with the fucking door locked and it took me like half an hour to get it open
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i thought they were cute tbh
we shared more than that one class u know
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guess she never really forgave me for it
yeah i know
i sat behind you in chemistry
do you know how many stupid conversations i had to listen to
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none of my conversations were stupid
[ if he wasn't talking about hockey or retelling spooky urban legends in an extremely dramatic fashion, he was probably yammering about girls. ]
not to be a creep but ur shampoo smelled rly fucking good
at some pt u changed it and it drove me crazy bc i could never figure out what it was
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i hate to break it to you but undoing a bra strap with one hand is not even that impressive
[ what the fuck. he wants to say something cutting about the fact that delta remembers the smell of his shampoo, but the revelation is too unexpected. that anyone remembers such a small detail about him makes something tighten in his chest. ]
i don't really remember what it was i bought
something my mom liked but i changed it when she started coming home less and less
how do you even know that
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ur opinion doesnt count
it got me hella points
[ maybe he shouldn't have said that. it's too unguarded, too thoughtlessly honest. the fact that he still remembers the smell of his shampoo to this day is honestly bizarre when they exchanged five words max in the entire four years they attended the same school. ]
im sensitive to scents ig
it was a pretty strong one so it stuck w me
i think eventually i narrowed it down to like apples and honey but im sure it had other notes in there
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i didn't really know back then that you were into dudes too
[ he's glad he said it. it makes him feel less invisible. ]
it was like some candied apple shit leftover from fall
my mom bought like ten bottles
sorry i didn't smell you properly but your whole group was just a cloud of axe
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felt weird coming out as bi when no one rly asked so i never said anything
i was always dating someone anyway
i resent that bc i def did not use axe but i agree that it was nauseating
it rubbed off on me anyway bc id go home smelling like i stepped into a hollister
think thats why i remember ur shampoo so well
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she just shows up with all this fucking cocaine and acts like that shit is normal
she barely even talks to me
if i knew i might have actually talked to you
well that was the acceptable standard of smells
not apples and honey
anyway you must have smelled decent since you were always up in someone's pussy
and/or dick
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u rly dont know where ur dad is?
a travesty honestly
we couldve made out under the bleachers like the hormonal teenagers we were
even if u wouldve balked at the idea of it back then
[ not even mentioning that he thought of his lips at least once in those four years. ]
idk that i couldve been comfortably out in hs anyway
ppl would see me w guys sometimes
like at parties and shit when i got absolutely trashed
but no one ever talked abt it
some hs version of dont ask why our centerman is shoving his tongue down that dude's throat and he won't tell
so i never told
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i'm pretty sure my mom doesn't even know who my dad is
there was never a dad
there was just a rotation of shitty guys
i wasn't in your crowd so that would've been weird
for me at least
i probably would've offended at least 47% of your friends by existing too close to them
you just get a free pass for everything don't you
never had anyone put dog shit in the shape of a dick in your locker huh
not that i would've wanted you to be bullied for sticking your tongue down some dude's throat but i'm just saying
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i dont know ur life dude im still trying to figure u out
i never really thought of it as a free pass
it just meant ppl were uncomfortable talking abt it for xyz reasons
[ but realistically it absolutely was a free pass because he had money, his uncle had numerous connections, and he had the most coveted spot on the hockey team. he never thought about how different his life was from ashe's back then but in retrospect it is glaringly obvious. ]
anyway thats enough reminiscing for one day
when should i show up to ur gig
early?
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that's why i fucked with older guys
they were slightly more progressed in their gay panic and i didn't have to deal with any of their shitty friends
you can show up whenever
i'll be there early for soundcheck but i'm probably gonna take a nap before we go on
wake me up if you want to hang
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my one and only experience w an older dude was junior year
i let some 20-sth financing graduate jerk me off in someone's bathroom
it was ok
why he was at a high school party i do not know lol
ill stop by after i pop home for a shower then
been at the beach most of the day
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what the fuck else do you even want to know
the ones that go to high school parties are the weirdos
you gotta sneak into their territory
if you're not a dumbass they assume you're their age
what were you doing at the beach all day
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the thing ur hiding from me
how slutty of u
nothing tbh
vibing
too cold to surf or hang in the water so i walked the beach and picked up shells and sea glass after class
do u want a shell
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